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A phone for Christmas? A calm guide to the first-phone question

If a phone is on the Christmas list, you don’t have to decide everything on the day. Here is how to decide calmly, and set it up well.

Written by the Brainhub Editorial Team Cites published research Updated 13 Oct 2026 6 min read

Key takeaways

1. Why this comes up now

December is when many families face the gadget question. A first phone, a tablet or a games console often arrives at Christmas, sometimes after months of “everyone else has one”.

Ofcom, the UK’s communications regulator, surveys children and parents every year about phones and screens. Its 2026 report found that phone ownership rises sharply at the move to secondary school, from 56% of 10-year-olds to 83% of 11-year-olds. By 16 and 17, nearly all (98%) have one.[1]

2. Phone, or not yet?

There is no right age for everyone. These questions can help you decide what your child needs, rather than what the advert suggests.

What is it for?

Getting to school safely and staying in touch can be done with a basic phone. A smartphone opens up apps, the internet and social media too.

Are they ready?

Will they come to you if they see something upsetting, or if someone they don’t know contacts them?

What are the school’s rules?

Since September 2026, statutory guidance expects schools in England to stop pupils using phones throughout the school day, including breaks and lunch. Check your school’s policy.

Which apps, and when?

Most social media apps set a minimum age of 13, though only about a third of parents (32%) know that. The government also plans to stop social media services offering accounts to under-16s from spring 2027. You can say yes to the phone and not yet to some apps.

3. Before you wrap it

Setting a phone up properly takes an evening. It is far easier before Christmas morning than after.[4]

Switch on parental controls

Use the phone’s own settings, and the controls on your home broadband and mobile network.

Approve downloads

Turn on app store approval so new apps need a yes from you, and switch off in-app purchases.

Start with a few apps

Begin with the essentials and add more over time, together.

Check privacy settings

Turn off location sharing and make accounts private where you can.

Controls help, but they aren’t perfect: No filter catches everything. Talking with your child matters more than any setting.

4. Agree a family deal

A short written agreement, made together, sets expectations before habits form. The NSPCC suggests families agree simple rules together and review them as children grow.[3]

Agree
For example
When
No phones at meals or during homework
Where
Phones charge downstairs overnight, not in bedrooms
What
Which apps and games are allowed, and which are not yet
If something goes wrong
They tell you, and they won’t lose the phone for telling you

5. Keep talking

The most useful thing you can do is stay curious. Ask them to show you their favourite app or game, and play it with them. Children who talk about what they do online are more likely to come to you when something worries them.

Phones at night are worth a special mention: screens and messages late in the evening can cut into the sleep children need for learning. Our guide to resetting sleep after half-term has more on this.

The best parental control is a conversation.

Worried about screens and schoolwork?: Our teachers can help your child plan homework and revision time that works around their phone, in a free call.

Try it now

Test yourself on this page

Answer in your head first, then check.

  1. 1. Around what age does phone ownership rise sharply?

  2. 2. What is the minimum age on most social media apps?

  3. 3. When is the best time to set up parental controls?

Your next steps

  • Write down what the phone is for before you buy it.
  • Set it up, with controls on, before you wrap it.
  • Agree four simple rules together over the holidays.

Sources

  1. Ofcom (21 May 2026). Children and Parents: Media Use and Attitudes Report. ofcom.org.uk/media-use-and-attitudes/media-habits-children/childrens
  2. Department for Education. Mobile phones in schools: guidance. gov.uk/government/publications/mobile-phones-in-schools
  3. NSPCC. Online safety: advice for parents, including parental controls and family agreements. nspcc.org.uk/keeping-children-safe/online-safety
  4. Internet Matters. Screen time: how to protect your child, including family agreements and parental controls. internetmatters.org/issues/screen-time/protect-your-child
  5. GOV.UK. Fact sheet: new rules to protect children online. gov.uk/government/publications/fact-sheet-new-rules-to-protect-children-online

This guide is general study advice. Every student is different. A teacher can help you work out what fits.